Perception.

"Care a little more for the people who care for you," said my Mom. 


She was frustrated, and I didn't really understand why till she made that comment. I had been trying to plan a trip with my aunt, and when planning the flights, I did it in such a way that would be more beneficial to me, and that would perhaps inconvenience her a bit more. It wasn't a huge thing, and it properly wouldn't alter our lives drastically, but it changed my perspective of who matters most. 


It reminded me why we have our families, and why we must love them with a fierce love. 


Humans have this wonderful capacity to love, and it's wonderful, it makes the world go round. But, it is also dangerous. For within that love comes the ability to hurt someone so much more. It is only when we love that deeply that the pain can sink that much deeper into the crater of the heart. 


My parents have always loved me so much, and I think that I take that for granted, more than I'm often willing to admit. My mother's sacrifice, to me, is beyond comprehension. I just forget it, though. Whenever I'm reminded of her sacrifices, I am ashamed, and then quickly forget once again. She always nags, and I attribute that to her being my mother, and then also being Asian. I mean, come on, I'm 23, and here I am being nagged about my grades, and being told to eat properly. It's those little things that bug the crud out of me, but in my more humble moments, the times when those little things remind me of just how much my mother loves me. 


I'm an only child, so friends are extremely important to me. But here's one thing I've learned. Except for a select few, friends come and go, but your family is ALWAYS there for you. They will do anything for you. That's the point, though. Because we know they'll always be there for us, we feel we can forget about them for a time, and they'll be there when we want to come back. Not the case. Love is infinite, but not definite. 


As I was driving to pick my friend up a couple hours ago, this other thought popped into my head, "the ones we love the most are the ones we treat the worst."

"Why?" I thought. "Why am I getting these thoughts thrown at me?"

In pondering, I think we don't realize that we do that a lot of the time, I mean, love them less than they should be loved. And, while I'm not suggesting that any of us are treating our loved ones in an abusive way, but the neglect we relegate to those who love us so much is more destructive than the physical wars we see around us. The wars that can completely destroy a life rage within the soul.

In some small way, I got to thinking about my own life and experiences I've had with that. The girls I've dated or tried to date are wonderful, but there's something that I've noticed with a few of them that irks me just a little.

When girls know you like them, they either reciprocate it, ignore it, or, they use it to their advantage because they know the boy who's head over heels for them would do almost anything for them. While it might be laughable or idiotic to see a guy fall so hard for a girl, there's also something to it, that a man is willing to open himself up to that love. Sadly, some girls use it to their advantage and treat those men like lap dogs. I wonder why that is the case.

I think I'm guilty doing that with some of my friends too though, the ones who are there through think and thin. Better change those ways.

I hope that as I come to more fully understand what it means to love, that I will care more for those who care for me, and hope that I find a woman one day who reciprocates that love.