Perception.

It's 3:30 a.m. right now, and I'm staring at my computer screen.

After getting locked out of the public relations agency room on campus (with my laptop and car keys in there), and having to call campus police to get my stuff, I decided to head home.

Since I have three more stories to write for my advanced reporting class, along with a final presentation and another project, I've spent most of the day developing a restaurant concept that I've been wanting to work on for awhile. Funny how much we start finding other things to do, when there's so much to do.

Blake, my roommate, was telling me that he was doing the exact same thing today, looking at different and completely unrelated career paths today instead of studying.

Here comes the Asian F.

Anyhow, I've been filling up applications to various internships. Yes, even at two in the morning. What's been on my mind the past few days isn't helping though.

What the heck do I want to do with my life?!! There are so many things I know I'd be decent at, but what am I really passionate about?

Food.

I love food.

But, seriously, I'm Asian. I need a real job.

I was chatting with a friend from high school last night. To be honest, I felt rather inadequate. A, as we shall name her, is awesome. She's really nice and sweet, and she's rather attractive too. It gets better.

A runs track for her college, she has a near perfect GPA, she's interned in Hilary Clinton's office, along with a stint at NATO's headquarters in Belgium. She's got some other great offers lined up (which I won't mention to respect her privacy), and oh. She's a finalist for the Rhodes Scholarship. The LA Times also did a feature story on her.

Wait, WHAT?

What am I doing with my life? Why am I not more driven?

Sure, I've got a decent GPA, I had an amazing internship with Bloomberg this summer, and I can carry a tune, most of the time.

There's this disconnect, I think, between what I am passionate about, with what I want to be good at, and what I'm actually good at.

Let's be honest. My math sucks. When I was studying math with my white roommate from Texas, it was because he was tutoring me, not the other way round. So much for stereotypes.

Anyhow, I'm good at public relations, but I don't know if it's my passion. I like certain facets of it, and actually love certain things in the profession. But, I like finance, I like money. Bloomberg reminded me of that. Bloomberg also reminded me that I can write pretty well. But, I don't want to write for the rest of my life.

I'm applying for internships at multiple places now. I have an offer in hand, but it's in China. I love China, and the company is great. But, do I want to move there when I graduate? Heck, I want to get married. So I'm applying to all these different companies that are really cool. But, I've been applying to investment firms and banks too, and I love that, I'm passionate about finance, about banking.

I love food.

Let's hope that 10 years from now, I've opened up a chain of restaurants based on my concept, I've started a clothing line with my friend, and I have a home in Dallas by White Rock Lake.

Right.