Perception.

It's not something that people bring up often, and certainly not to my face, but I've had a couple things happen this past month that have made me realize that I often take people in my life for granted.

I was reflecting on it and thought I'd ask my Dad whether I did take him for granted. I mean, in the back of my mind, I could certainly think of instances, but he seemed pretty fine with the question and said, "Sometimes. Between parents and children not unusual to take each other for granted though."

When I went home a few hours later, he seemed a bit agitated, and I asked him what was up.

He had been thinking about the question and said, "You know, sometimes, you go in and out, take the car and don't really spend time at home. But also, why do you always put your parents last? You make all your plans, then you ask me whether I'm free to fit in that last time slot you have. Shouldn't I be one one of the first people you ask and prioritize?"

That hit home for me. Part of the reason why my girlfriend and I got into fights was precisely this. I made plans with other friends, and at the end of it all, I looked for the open spots to "fit her in" the remaining time I had allocated.

Same with how I have treated my mom, my aunt.

That's not a good trend.

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Why is it, that with people close to me, I deprioritise them. I take their time for granted, I take them for granted.

Why? Why have I put acquaintances, other friends first? It's something I'm still reflecting on, but if I'm being honest with myself, I guess I want to build that friendship, or seem cool, or get their validation as I hang out with them.

The funny (well, maybe more unfortunate thing) is this - those people? They don't really matter. Sure, they're fun and all that, but the people closest to you are the ones that are there for you in times of trouble, they're there when the going gets tough. Ok, that's still the wrong way of looking at it.

The people you're close to are the ones you priortize because you do love them, and care for them. And, I've learned that I don't want to put myself in a situation where I realize that till it's too late, and that person is gone, or that person gives up on you, because you didn't show them your gratitude, love and care. It's easy I guess, you assume they'll always be there for you, and I've subconciously, or at times consciously taken advantage of that.

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I mentioned this train of thought to my aunt, and told her I was going to change that, but she pushed back and asked if that was just all talk.

Well, I've got to walk the walk, not just talk the talk. I've started to doing that - putting them first, planning with my mom and dad and aunt first, and sometimes moving appointments and events to fit their schedule and timing. Time with them is precious, I've got to keep that top of mind, and do the same with others around me.

So that's one of the Thirty to ThirtEe goals that I’m stretching past the 30th birth-date, prioritize and spend quality time with the people who matter in my life. I do wish I'd learned that sooner.