Perception.

We all have our insecurities, One way or another.

I ran into a friend this morning who I hadn't talked to in quite awhile. Sat down to chat with her, and, in doing so, ended up having a mini-counseling session, wherein she told me that she wasn't feeling happy, or, at least, she wasn't as satisfied with her life. I asked her what was wrong. We went through a short list of the basic things that occupy most of our time.

"School?" - "Good, not taking too many credits." - Check.
"Dating?" - "Not bad, I like my boyfriend and he treats me well." - Check.
"Family?"- "Alright, worried about my family though, my parents aren't getting along too well." - Kinda Check.

We talked about how we can be happy, how we can find peace within ourselves. It seemed to me that her lack of happiness stemmed from a lack of confidence in herself, in who she was and where she wants to go in life. I think we all have those issues at one point or another, which is up to us to overcome.

More often than not, we allow external factors to affect who were are, and with that, effect a change in us that is not positive. Sure, it's not easy to be completely unaffected by the world. The only two things that could probably get us to that state would be ignorance or apathy. So, what can we do?

"I think I'm in a rut." she said.

Rats. Ruts. I remember being on a rut on my mission. It was hard. How did I get out of it? I really didn't want to bring religion into this particular post, but I guess I can't leave it out since it is such a huge part of my life. I got out of my rut with God, plain and simple. Well, it was what I did each and every day. Guidance from a loving Father in Heaven helps me each day to see things from His view, through His eyes, and realize that there's a lot more to things in life that meet the eye. But, for those who don't believe in God, or who aren't particularly religious, how can peace be found?

Well, confidence in self, right? Emerson said, " Trust thyself, every heart vibrates to that iron string." It's in developing a relationship with ourselves that those insecurities fade away. Developing a relationship with ourselves is just like any relationship. We spend time with ourselves, we talk to ourselves, we think, we ponder, and we answer the questions that matter most to us, based on our values and morals. We set a standard for ourselves that we feel comfortable with, and then we work towards it. We pursue excellence within ourselves by doing so, because we pursue that which allows each of us to become who we want to be.

I was watching an old episode of Grey's Anatomy. One of the doctors, Izzy, was talking about another doctor, Cristina, about why she was jealous of her. It wasn't because she was overtly talented, or attractive, or smart. She was jealous because Cristina "knows what she wants, she has this faith in her skill, in herself... it's an unwavering faith. She knows who she is."

I want to have that in myself. I want to know what I want and have confidence in myself, in my skills. So, I'm going to have to find that from within. I know I can. I'm halfway there. I'm working on knowing what I want. The most important thing to remember in all of this though, I think, is to not look back. Well, maybe not look back at all, but, as another character in the show said, "I needed to come back so that I could see that it was alright to leave." When we take what we need to learn, we turn back and face and future and never look back, we come to terms with the fact that it is alright. We've overcome that challenge, that obstacle in the past. When we can do that, our insecurities fade away, because the burden of the past weighs us down no longer.

With confidence in self, with faith in self, then insecurity becomes in-security, security in self, confidence and faith in yourself where a person is not dragged down by self-doubt. You control yourself, but not really, because knowing who you are allows you to do just what you need to do without a questioning yourself.

So, as Emmanuel Teney has said (and I believe that this can be applied to faith in self),

As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit.

I have faith in myself, a knowledge within my heart of who I am. As Ruyard Kipling put it,

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;

Things will work out. Faith in self. Faith in God. You know yourself. Trust you.

-eechie.