Perception.

You can't depend on prayer - at least not in the way most people seem to understand it. I think people get confused by how prayer really works.

I was visiting an old mission companion in Boston last week, and along the course of the weekend got talking a bit about religion.

One of the things that I have been thinking a lot about is the concept of prayer and how it really works with His will. In Christianity, we say things like"Thy will be done," and "we'll leave it up to God," "it's all about faith."Well, if it is His will, then what's the point of prayer? It seems that a lot of people pray or even fast when they want something, whether it's to do well on a test, get the girl of their dreams, or, on a more serious note, to spare the life of a loved one who's been in an accident, or who is at the beginning or tail end in a battle with cancer.

At that point, some people are begging, pleading - even crying - to ask God to spare the life of that friend or family member, while at the same time acknowledging that it is His will. But, if I understand it correctly, it is His Will right? God is omniscient, and knows exactly what's going to happen, it's all planned out. Granted, God can try and help influence us through the Holy Ghost to help us make the right choices and return to Him, but that's a point for another post, because I'm talking about how people see prayer as a way to somehow influence God.

When we pray (at least when I pray), we ask God for a lot of things. "Please bless my mother that she will be well this week, please bless my roommate that he will do well on a test." But, how does that work? If enough people pray for something, will God really bless them?

Scenario 1: Jane has stage four cancer, and she's going to die in a few days. Jane is Christian from Atlanta, and her pastor announces to the congregation that they are going to pray and fast for a week that Jane will be healed.

Scenario 2: Jennifer in Ghana has stage four cancer, and she's going to die in a few days. Jennifer believes in the local spirits. The local witch doctor announces to the village they are going to pray for Jennifer, and he's even going to throw in a few potions.

Scenario 3: Jack in London has stage four cancer, and he's going to die in a few days. Jack's an atheist, as is his family. So they make plans for his funeral.

So, assuming God is the Christian one, who's He going to save? The Christian one? But, God loves all His children. He isn't going to pick favorites. Heck, Jennifer hasn't even heard the name Jesus Christ in her life.

Say Jane dies. What do all her friends and pastor say? "Well, it was the Lord's will," "Oh, she fought the good fight." Now say Jane lives. What do all her friends and pastor say? "Praise God, He has heard our prayers." "It was the faith of Jane and her friends that saved her," the pastor exclaims.

Meanwhile, you've got the believer in spirits and the atheist. So, now what? If they live, it can't be God's will, they have been praying to the wrong person. If they die, well, wrong God again. Sounds like a discriminatory and not at all loving God to me.

How can that be? Here's my two cents in response to that.

1. God really does love all His children, and,

2. Prayer isn't about asking God to do something for you, it's about accepting His will.

God loves all his children, and is not going to discriminate. Just as God does not condemn someone to hell because they did not believe or know about Him in this life, so will God not condemn one person before another just because that person has 100 people praying for them as opposed to that soul in Atlanta or Ghana. Whether Jane, Jennifer or Jack die is not because of the prayers or lack of prayers on their behalf. It is the will of God. Prayer is meant to be a comfort, not a solution. Prayer is meant to teach us on whom our dependence must lie. God will not suffer His children any differently from another. When a Jew, Muslim or Hindu prays, they are all to the same God, just a different way of praying. Remembering that will help us in so many ways. We'll be kinder to others, we won't judge others as much, we will love one another more because we will begin to understand more of how God truly loves.

Here's the chunk of my thoughts though:

Prayer isn't about asking God to do something for you, it's about accepting His will. I had a friend who just wrote about having a really hard time finding a job, and the fear that comes from not knowing what is going to happen. Later on, though, she quotes Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, an apostle in the LDS faith who said:

"Whenever these moments of our extremity come, we must not succumb to the fear that God has abandoned us or that He does not hear our prayers. He does hear us. He does see us. He does love us. When we are in dire circumstances and want to cry “Where art Thou?” it is imperative that we remember He is right there with us—where He has always been! We must continue to believe, continue to have faith, continue to pray and plead with heaven, even if we feel for a time our prayers are not heard and that God has somehow gone away. He is there. Our prayers are heard."

I agree, I really really do. God does hear our prayers, and he there to comfort us, guide us, lead us, teach us. But, he does not, I think, answer our prayers in the way most people think. We don't pray and God says, "Sure, you've prayed hard enough, so here you go." The reason why people shouldn't say God has answered my prayer is because He hasn't and does not.

Rather, and this is the crux of the conversation I had with my mission companion - God, in answering our prayer, explains to us, through the Spirit or in other ways, why something has happened the way it has. It's an explanation, not a response where God does something for us. We do not understand His ways. But prayer gives us the confidence and assurance that He knows what He is doing. We cannot change the will of God, but prayer can change the desires of our heart to align ourselves with the will of God. It is then that we learn to trust in God, and depend on Him. Prayer is not meant to supplicate, it is meant to redeem. When you learn that prayer is about understanding, not about demanding, the answers you receive from God will change, because you will have changed.

My Bishop from my home ward wrote this back in 2007, a few weeks before my Dad forced me to come home fro my mission. Before I share the quote with you, what I learned from that experience is that God truly allows men to use their free agency, it is how we act on our own against the things life throws our way that will make all the difference.

"Be faithful. We all have challenges and fears, obstacles and obligations. Sometimes they overwhelm us. There is nothing wrong with doing what we can and then committing ourselves into the hands of God. He expects nothing more of us than what we can do and He will step and carry us when it is necessary. He can and will save us from the fires of the adversary, and even if He does not, it will be well with us for believing it will be so. He sees beyond the moment, beyond the veil, into the eternities. Who knows that but an apparent tragedy may open the door for the heavens to bless us or to receive us? He does. Believe."

We are dependent on prayer not because we will get the answers we want, or even answers at all. We can and must be dependent on prayer, because that is the way we will learn how to be truly dependent on Him.