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“If your mercy is so cruel, what do you have for justice?”

So says the Elephant Man to his doctor, who defends the peremptory sacking of a staring hospital attendant as merciful for the Elephant Man's sake.

Human nature. Cruelty. Tolerance. Understanding. Gratitude.

Each theme played a part in this spectacular play that I watched tonight. More often than not, I feel that I am less than kind to someone around me, and little more impatient than I should have been, a little more gruff and snappy. There is so much that we don't see and don't understand about the people around us. We really really cannot see what they are going through. Unfortunately, I have been guilty of judging others. We have to learn to tolerate those those around us, because they tolerate us also. Perhaps tolerate isn't the right word. Yes, it's the wrong word. We have to love them.

Love them? Yes, for that is where our justice lies. Our mercy is not adequate. It is only in our justice that we can love, to look past our own frailties and mete out justice both to ourselves and to those around us.

The characters in the play wore masks. I was discussing it with my date afterward, and we never really came to a solid conclusion. But, though our discussion and with insight from one of my friends who acted in it, it seems to me that it was symbol of the masks and facades that we hide behind because we're afraid of people seeing us for who we are. We're afraid of what people think about us, so much, because we aren't merciful enough to ourselves.

We all have hope, just like The Elephant Man, who said: "My head is so big, because it is so full of dreams." We cannot even begin to dare crushing other people' dreams, because we think they can't accomplish it. Rather, if you do, it is more of a reflection of your feeling that you cannot do it.

I learned, tonight, that I need to be better, I have so much to be grateful for. The Elephant Man suffered so much, physically and emotionally, because of misunderstanding. I hope that I will misunderstand people less, so that my mercy may not be so cruel, then perhaps I can find my justice.


Have you ever made a rope of hemp before? I have!

I'm reading yet another C.S. Lewis book for class right now, and came across this short passage that got me a-thinking.
“You never know how much you really believe anything until its truth of falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you. It is easy to say you believe a rope to be strong and sound as long as you are merely using it to cord a box. But suppose you had to hang by that rope over a precipice. Wouldn't you then first discover how much you really trusted it?”
On the church history I was on, they showed us how they used to make these hemp ropes. What you had to do was take the hemp and roll it around a machine that would wind them together. You had to do it at just the right speed or it wouldn't be tight enough, or it would be too tight.


 If you wind it up well though, that little rope can pull several hundred pounds! Those little things hold fast together! Sometimes I wonder if I really have a solid testimony of my Church and its teachings.


That rope represents the straight and narrow, and the frays are like paths that we can go off on, but we can burn those frays off, as people who use the ropes often do! I swear I'm not explaining this that well...

Aside from that though, your friends are like that rope. You have few true friends, but they are the ones that you trust like heck. You never know how much you really believe anyone until their truth of falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you. It is easy to say you believe a rope to be strong and sound as long as you are merely using it to cord a box. But suppose you had to hang by that rope over a precipice. Wouldn't you then first discover how much you really trusted it?

I'm terribly afraid of heights, but I do have that handful of friends that I would trust to hang me over that precipice, especially when I need to, so that I can learn and grow and become.  Do you have those friends?
I haven't ever really brought lunches to school. I think I tried it once in high school, but the novelty wore off. Plus, we didn't have a sandwich maker.

Well, a couple nights ago, I was at a friend's house, and she gave me some chicken and vegetables that they had for dinner to try as a snack. As it turns out, I had made a bunch of rice that I never finished. When I got home, I realized that if I just dumped some rice in the Tupperware, it could be my lunch the next day!

The Commons Room in the Maesar building has a microwave and utensils and all that. I happened to sit next to one of my friends, and as I opened my container, she commented on what a good lunch I had. Yeah, I was happy. And, guess what? it was delicious! Plus, I didn't have to stand in line for fifteen minutes for a small portion of overly-sodium-ized, extra fat food for $5.35. After class, another friend asked me if I wanted to go over and get some curry and rice (I know, a lot of rice, I'll get in my bread and pasta too). I was full from cooking class, so I took it home, then realized I could pack it for my lunch today! Check out this article for tips! You'll be so much happier with tastier food, healthier portions, and save tons of money!


Later on in the evening, Bradford was heading out to the gym, and he half-jokingly asked me if I wanted to go along (I've been terrible at it, and we go to different gyms. Anyhow, I thought about it for a couple minutes, and I figured that I just had to go, or I was going to grow into a fat old Chinese man with a beer rice belly.  Zane got home just then, and we decided to go over to the indoor track and run. Talk about amazing! I felt so good after the run. It hurt a little at first but once I got into the pace, I chugged along pretty well. There was some kid charging along the track too.

Looks like it was a back-to-childhood day.

Anyhow, these two things made me happy today, so I thought I'd share them with you. Happy Tuesday!







Read this story printed in The New York Times. It's a good little reminder of what love really is about. It reminds me that love isn't always a fairytale story (though as a guy I'm not supposed to believe in that anyway). 

A lot of the time, I think we try to push it, we try to see if that person can fit in our vision or idea of a soulmate. Here's the point though: you can't do that. Love is, in a way, a jigsaw puzzle. It works perfectly between two people, or it doesn't. I'm not saying it doesn't take work. What I'm saying is that it works perfectly, precisely because two people work on it, each and every day. That puzzle becomes whole when you plod along each day, knowing that there will be a satisfying result at the end. 

I'm still waiting for that. As such, I'm still waiting for that perfect story. Eventually, we find that perfect person who is right for us. I don't know if I'm making sense anymore, but the author sums up my thoughts perfectly she she says this:
"But my husband has seen me at my worst, at my most vile. And he has seen me at my best. He knows the things I don’t tell anyone, and the lies that I tell everyone but him. I have made sacrifices for him and been angry about it. Sometimes his flaws are so egregious, so blatant, they are all I see. And sometimes his kindness is so stunning that I am humbled.
And that’s love. Big, epic, fairy-tale love. The kind of love people write about. The kind of love that could inspire a poem."
We don't choose love. Love chooses us.


"In the end, it's these small things that you remember. The little imperfections that make them perfect for you."

-eechie.


I remember when I first came to the Sacred Grove. It was five years ago that I spent a summer in Buffalo, and came here a couple of times to go to the temple. I loved the experience, and thought about the things that I felt then from time to time. Right after my time in Buffalo, I spent a week at EFY, which was a great testimony builder, and a foundation on which I laid bricks on, to know that Jesus Christ is my Savior.

Five years on, I've been at BYU two years and and a half, which has been a great environment in which to build my testimony, and I've spent two years testifying of the Restoration of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Looking back on these past few years, I can't really see how much my testimony has grown. I know it has. I just hope it's been enough, especially with all the opportunities presented me.

As the sister missionaries gave an introduction, one of them invited us to ask Heavenly Father, and, in a sense, ourselves, a question.

"Now tell me again, what happened here?"

That question has been going through my mind these past few hours as I've asked, "what happened here?" The funny thing is that I do know. But it is always comforting, each and every time, to feel the witness that we can only receive through the Holy Ghost. "Please, tell me again. I want to see, I want to feel, I want to know."

It's not anything special, it is just a grove, but then again, it is everything. All because a boy went into the woods to pray, I know things that brings me joy every day, every single day.

The breeze rustles the leaves gently as the wind drifts by. I won't be sitting here much longer, but I know that I don't have to be here always to know that it's true. When I get down on my knees and bow my head, I can close my eyes and imagine wherever I want to be. The temple, the Sacred Grove, the Garden of Gethsemene. And then, I can ask once again:

"Now tell me again, what happened here?"



Heard a great story in sacrament today. It was a good little reminder of the life I want to live, and the impact that we can have in the lives around us if we consciously choose to make a difference.



“We may not all live holy lives, but we live in a
world alive with holy moments
.”
~ Kent Nerburn
by Kent Nerburn
Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living.
It was a cowboy’s life, a life for someone who wanted no boss.
What I didn’t realize was that it was also a ministry.
Because I drove the night shift, my cab became a moving confessional. Passengers climbed in, sat behind me in total anonymity, and told me about their lives. I encountered people whose lives amazed me, ennobled me, and made me laugh and weep.
But none touched me more than a woman I picked up late one August night. I was responding to a call from a small brick fourplex in a quiet part of town. I assumed I was being sent to pick up some partyers, or someone who had just had a fight with a lover, or a worker heading to an early shift at some factory for the industrial part of town.
When I arrived at 2:30 a.m., the building was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window.
Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, then drive away.
But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation.
Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself.
So I walked to the door and knocked. “Just a minute”, answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.
After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80?s stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knick-knacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.
“Would you carry my bag out to the car?” she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness.
“It’s nothing”, I told her. “I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated.”
“Oh, you’re such a good boy”, she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, then asked,
“Could you drive through downtown?”
“It’s not the shortest way,” I answered quickly.
“Oh, I don’t mind,” she said. “I’m in no hurry. I’m on my way to a hospice.”
I looked in the rear view mirror. Her eyes were glistening.
“I don’t have any family left,” she continued. “The doctor says I don’t have very long.”
I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. “What route would you like me to take?” I asked.
For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she’d ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.
As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, “I’m tired. Let’s go now.”
We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her. I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.
“How much do I owe you?” she asked, reaching into her purse.
“Nothing,” I said.
“You have to make a living,” she answered.
“There are other passengers”.
Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.
“You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,” she said. “Thank you.”
I squeezed her hand, then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.
I didn’t pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly, lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?
On a quick review, I don’t think that I have done anything more important in my life.
We’re conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware – beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.
-eechie. 

You know those days when you're just overwhelmed? when you look at the week ahead, and the week after that, and it seems like a never-ending pile of test, papers, and whatnot? It's kind of been that way for me for the past few weeks. This morning, I decided to, well, bum on Facebook for half an hour (not that it's really a decision), and came across this video that my friend posted.

Sometimes life is tough, sometimes life gets you down. But, when I, when we realize what we have in  comparison to others, we KNOW that we are truly blessed. The question is, what can we do, what are we going to do, in our own way, to change the world? How can UI personally help someone have a better day, a better life? This video shows the transformative power of being that change.


The gospel of Jesus Christ is centered on service. For members of the Church, this is a good reminder of what our purpose here is on this life. We are to love and serve and give.


I am so grateful for the blessings that I have, and I hope that these two videos help you to see that too. Have a wonderful day!

-eechie.


I made it into the public relations program at BYU!

YAY!

I'll be sending the next couple of years in the building on the left. 

Now what?
Aside from the fact that I'm complaining about how way behind I am in school while writing this post in class, I really way behind, and I don't know what to do about it. There's so much to do!

There's:

1. School (tests/quizzes)
2. School (reading)
3. School (BYUSA/Dance)
4. Parents coming
5. Upcoming trip
6. Dating is poopy
7. PR program application
8. Internship applications

I just need to plan and balance it out, but it is so overwhelming! What do I do?