Perception.

I sometimes wonder where I'd be if I didn't believe in what I do. The central tenet of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is that because of Jesus Christ's Atonement, we can overcome all.

He gives me hope to change. His Atonement gives me the love and strength I need each day to be a little better, to be a little happier. I think sometimes people wonder how I could ever believe in this, why I'm willing to give this up, or that up. The funny thing is, I wonder that too sometimes. There's always the explanation that because I was raised in it, that it is the natural course I take.

In thinking about it, though, that is not the case. I believe because there are feelings and thoughts that I get  which could never be mine. That sense of love and peace does not come from within, but from Someone who truly loves me. When I hurt, when I don't know if I can continue, He is there. When everything is going right, He's there too.

Many contend that believers go to God only only when he or she they are in need, and I suppose an extent that's true, since I'm guilty of that. But why? Why do people keep turning to God? There has to be a reason that the begging continues.

I'm sure Heavenly Father gets frustrated or sad that we do that, but I know He loves us too much, so that when we come crying to him, much like a little child, He scoops us up in his arms and says, "Now now, let's take a look at that boo boo." And, the wonderful thing is that He doesn't look at and see whether that pain was caused by someone else or by our own mistakes. The most important thing to Him is that we know who He is and turn to Him.

I love Him.

1 John 4:19 reads, "We love Him, because He first loved us." I think I've never really understood that till now. why I love Him, it's because I can't help it. It's too powerful. No matter how much I rebel, He keeps coming back and saying, "Come on, let's figure this out together."

My Mom nags a lot. My gosh, she does. Even half a world away, modern day technology makes it easy. And, when she is, BOY, am I annoyed. On and on about the same things. I guess part of the reason/excuse is that she's Asian. So I'll get mad, then feel bad, then apologize and tell her I'll listen, but when I do it again, she says, you always say you're sorry but then you do it again." and I'm like, gee whiz, I'm 23, let me make my own decisions. But, it's in those epiphanies that I learn and know and understand. She loves me. I mean, my Mom really does, because everything she does is for my happiness. I never see it then (idiot) but it's always for my good.

Christ does the same for us, and then some. Because he loves us, He gives us the scriptures, and modern-day prophets and apostles that speak to us. They nag us, they keep repeating the same things over and over again, whether we should be praying constantly and always trying to be kind, or never to view pornography or lift the angry hand.

I listened to a devotional a few weeks ago that changed my heart. In it, the speaker spoke about losing a son to illness, and how his wife's heart changed from wanting to hold on to her son, to accepting it and letting him go. He said:

"She trusted God because she knew God. She knew that God understood her personally, in a way 
that few others could, for God had also lost a son. And through the Atonement of that Son, God can do miracles. He can forgive a sinner. He can 
save a lost soul. He can heal a broken heart."

I trust Him. That's the miracle of Jesus Christ. Because He lives, because He suffered in the Garden of Gethsemene and died on Calvary's Cross, I get to live again. It's one of the great consolations of the gospel that you know that you get to overcome death and receive the gift of resurrection. 

More than that, though, it's pertinent to me now that what He did allows me to change each and every day. It allows me to overcome my fallen state and find hope in a new morning. The fallibility of my daily sins are overcome by the ransom of His infinite grace.  He saves me every day, and also heals my broken heart when I think it can't hurt any more than it does. Because He took on my sufferings with such grace, poise, and humility, I can slowly become like Him as I apply the lessons He learned to my own life as He teaches me through His grace and mercy. Because He forgave those who nailed Him to the cross, I can forgive the friend who makes an insensitive comment. 

Two of my favorite scriptures, Alma 7:11-12, and Phillippians 2:5-13 sum up my thoughts perfectly, for through His succor, I can accomplish all things.